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Disagree. Are you open to the possibly that your perspective is wrong?

So i never experienced love, only limerence.

This video just changed my life. This is not an exaggeration. I’ve been tormented by this concept my whole life. It started as a fantasy and turned into a curse. I didn’t know there was a word that described my feelings and experience. Thank you for helping me.

Maybe consider not keeping company with who you are trying to not be?

This video helped me understand why I can usually make room for other people’s grief, but they typically seem unable to make room for mine. Understanding that was a massive source of relief for me. Thank you, doctor!

Only low value men who cannot get younger women date older women.

Wow thank you so much this was so informative. I believe I have BPD and I was dating someone with NPD and I can relate a lot to all you are saying. I didn't know BPD & NPD can occur in one person but with personality disorders I'm learning something new everyday.

she is a very good talker

lol

ah the control factor. she denied the devaluing and ghosting but what the quiet said (and didn't say) was enough. i chased in loss aversion, finally my inner adult woke up and put my inner child back in his room. i pulled the bandaid for us both instead of prolonging the breadcrumb game. almost a year no contact with only 1 slip up by me. starting to see reality over the fantasy I built in my head. great info thanks for your videos!

her anti social partner is more social than the narcissist. let that sink in people. these conditions come in all shapes and sizes

I have a hard time turning down alcohol in social situations (I live in the Netherlands and alcohol culture is big here). I can't handle it and I always get very hungover and tired, while I am big into sports and health for which alcohol has a very negative impact.

This was very insightful and I definitely needed this. Currently in a bit of a love triangle and one option started out very limerent it was a very unrealistic idea I had of him but we talked it out and I’ve let it go but now my other friend and I have started something and he’s way more realistic for me but I can feel my fantasies happening with him and it just worries me that things won’t work out with him either.😢

Great interview, I can't see any npd, the narcissistic traits she's describing is a part of borderline. Very self aware person, doing the work and doing great ❤

What I am curious about is how one gets past the denial that such disorders seem to perpetuate, such that you can accept a diagnosis and start treatment. It seems to me that Cluster B disorders share this with alcoholism/addiction ie "diseases that tell you that you don't have it", and any suggestion to the contrary nets an anger response, denial etc

Not true men are more likely to be... this is facts

Seems like saying a partner or person that shows signs of limerance is easier to follow than saying this person or that person. I’m always trying to figure out if it’s the person with limerance or the person in a relationship with the limerance person.

I want to believe that a narcissist can change for the better. But if the narcissist who hurt me called me up to apologize; it's not that I don't want to forgive her, it's that I would struggle to believe her. I would want to believe her but I would be concerned that I was just being naive. Even just watching you I found myself guarded and skeptical, though I want to believe you; and regardless, I wish you the best and have empathy for you. Ugh. After watching this video, I feel like a tortoise surrounded by scorpions looking for a ride across the river.

Eyes speak volumes. So do actions. Words are almost irrelevant, yet still hear them. Watch and see how people react to highly emotional events that do not have a direct impact upon them. Such as a movie or show. Always be observant of who you keep around. Be wary of those who seek out to be entertained by malicious actions and behaviors of real events, like true murder mysteries, etc. I say this because experiences with people in my lfe. Ive been hyper observant for as long as i can remember because of my "traumas". I also ignore redflags because I want to believe in the best of people and it has costed me plenty. Narcissistic behavior is innate in all humans. There are obviously various levels. Its a primal behavior of survival. "Dog eat dog" mentality. No one is never, not narcissistic, yet the level is just very low. What we should be worrisome about, lack of empathy/sympathy for others. If you dont feel bad for being bad, then you ARE the bad guy. Truly, ive only seen healing through Christ Jesus of Nazareth, our Father in Heaven. Sometimes then, these corrupted people find other "victims" within the church if they truly dont repent. Truly vile creatures. This is a spiritual battle. Recognize this.

This leaves out so many important things. People who experience limerence are often lacking severely in getting their needs met real life, have a history of trauma, their relationship with themselves is broken, and when someone is attracted to them they lose interest, because their psyche never learned how to accept love since real love was never available. Additionally, the LO often embodies qualities they themselves need to develop and strengthen. Addressing these issues is how to get over limerance, trying to force oneself to follow the steps in the video by sheer willpower before addressing the underlying causes will lead to certain failure and recurrence, possibly with a different LO.

Wow this is incredible

Ughhh these graduation photos im crying the day of my graduation my mother yelled and cursed at me told me she was not going to be there for me and during my high school graduation ceremony I couldn’t even concentrate on the ceremony cuz I kept looking to the bleachers in hopes that I would see my mother and that she would be there. She showed up at the end of my ceremony she was a terrible mother I went thru hell Jesus sent my husband to help save me

Nope, my mood is great, I enjoy being single and glad I don’t have any kids and never will have any biological children at this point., don’t need anyone, don’t care for anyone , definitely definitely love my own simple life. I can do whatever I like and I don’t have to get permission from anyone to do so. 😅

I think people get this very wrong. When I am in a state of limerence I am not in it for their unavailability but rather despite of it. I am not drawn to the distance but rather to the closeness which I crave so badly that I fail to refrain from the relationship in light of the whole situation. I am not trying to recreate a childhood relationship that feels familiar, but rather I haven't learned how to distance myself from someone who does not meet my needs. I am not in it for the pain, but for the crumbs of a connection. So what helps me (some of the time) is not monitoring my behaviour and blaming myself but rather saying: "Stop! You have no business being in my thoughts when you are not giving me anything!". Make your internal object of them into a person that is lacking and insufficient. Because they are not giving you anything! and in this inner scenario it is okay to blame them for that and even get really angry. Because absolutely don't stand a chance against an inner object that is perfect and solves all your problems, not with all the self-love and discipline in the world. You couldn't separate from your parents when you where an infant and they weren't giving you the love you would have needed. But you can separate from the copy. You just need to remove its mask. "Get away from me, you are not here with me!" It is a gift. Finally there's someone you can take it all out on , all your anger and blame, without any consequences. Use it. Set a boundary. And if you see them regularly, at least avoid talking to the real person unless you absolutely have to. It might seem "unfair" but it's none of their business. You come first. And you were never really friends anyways.

I don’t believe this guy is sociopath or lack sympathy. I believe that the prison system got to him and told his mind lies. I can sense him. And yes, while it is hard to spot, someone made a comment about that. It is hard to spot but when you’re an impact, you can sense others obviously, we all know that, but if he was void of emotion, I wouldn’t be able to send them for one and two he shows too much emotion when he talks. The prison system told him this he needs whatever is really going on.

I absolutely love Psychology, but the whole politics / qualifications debate is really tedious. A Clinical Psychologist with little or no empathy may do considerable harm, a counsellor or volunteer people helper might have a hugely positive impact on many people's lives. This video takes a very orthodox, hierachical, and simplistic approach to supporting mental health which, in practice, is disparate and complex. No mention of psychiatric nurses, for example, or the heroes that volunteer time to support disenfranchised young people.

God bless Dr Igudia for turning up for me when I was down with herpes simplex virus. you made me believe in you and built my confidence around you and saved me from this mess. Kudos to you doctor, you’re a genius

Ten years of bliss then and now ten years of narrsisitic Hell

I got really messed up with herpes, all efforts to get a solution were abortive. I came across Dr Igudia on RUclips, placed an order and I got the medicine. Indeed that was the change of story in my life. I’ll keep on telling everyone about you doctor. Gratitude.

Ussely i ask them out they say yes am looking for a serious relationship then we have sex and they dissapear how to deal with this circle?

My partner will completely forget our plans or promises she made even my birthday. But she damn sure will remember to go to any get together with her friends, weddings or their birthday parties

Fly often as possible an sit everytime at the window and look out. Do this 10 times in a row and you will never be scared of flying ever again. It is simple as that. (Of course, enduring the fear during the first flights is not "simple"). Techniques to prevent or avoiding the fear will make it only worse and is just a cash-cow for therapists.

she wanted me in her orbit, but not in a deep meaningful way. she began by showering me with affection - almost instantly. I thought she was madly in love with me. men are easy to fool when a pretty girl wants to snog your face off!

I suffered Genital Herpes for 6 months and coming across Dr Igudia on RUclips was the solution to it all. I want to use this post to appreciate him. Keep saving life my doctor

That's not true at all. I have had very available partners who I did this very strongly.

Thank you Dr Igudia on RUclips for all you do, just got my test result today and am now genital herpes negative. I will keep letting the world know about your good work sir

I built a multibillion dollar entertainment company that is listed on the stock market. You don't end up with a public company without "swimming with the sharks." Sharks as in people with cluster B personality disorders. NPD, BPD, APD, etc. So, believe me when I say, nobody you know has dealt with more psychopaths, sociopaths, narcissists, and borderliners (cluster B personalities across the board) than I have. The host of this channel may have interviewed people with cluster B personality disorders, but it's clear she has no real life experience with them. She and this guest are downplaying how dangerous these people are. Indeed, they are the most dangerous people on our planet. They lead their victims to living the rest of their lives in a hell of CPTSD at best and at worst unaliving their victims, or like with the Mica Miller case, pushing their victims to unalive themselves. Again, I promise that none of you have dealt with more cluster B personalities than I have. Do not be fooled by this interview, this host, or this guest. If you don't want to risk losing everything at best or ending up being unalived by their hands or them causing you to unalive yourself, stay as far away from these people as you can. And, unlike the guest wants you to believe, they do not have feelings, they do not have empathy, they do not feel remorse. They do not have a conscience. Period. They leave nothing but a trail of dead behind them. And, empaths listen closely, you are their main prey. I'm telling you this because watching people romanticize the most destructive dangerous people on Earth is insanely dangerous. I wish this guest well, but you all need to realize that she has a lifetime of work she has to do on herself simply to not hurt people. Think about that! Good for her for working on herself, but 99.999% of people with cluster B personality disorders never will. If you meet one, and are lucky enough to see through them before it's too late, run for the hills and don't look back. If they were both being honest, they would be telling you what I just told you. Good luck y'all.

NPD diagnosis….not accurate. This is someone with a lot of knowledge from research that found it easier to put a label on herself to explain the behavior when she was probably just an emotionally stunted a$$hole. I’m glad she’s working on herself now but BPD traits are far more obvious than NPD.

The covert narc does not care if there victims, and the trauma from these people ended up in driving to serious unalive attempts, these people have no empathy! These people justifying there behaviour,from my experience bpd patients have empathy,covert narcs look for vulnerable patients, interesting she's dating antisocial personality disorder 😂😂😂😂😂

He described me

As a BPD at the hands of a covert narc destroyed my life,The Bpd criteria has no narcisstic traits there are small overlaps,a covert narc are drawn to bpd patients,easy to manipulate and are vulnerable and superiority,it's highly unlikely that covert narcs change but not possible overt narcs enjoy watching other people suffer which bpd dint,I nearly lost my life from a Covert narc,covert narcs are dangerous, I have cptsd from a Covert narc ,abuse is never acceptable, covert narcs need 6 to 10 years and a life long journey, bpd patients is treatable covert narc is in reality is not treatable

Hey lady ! Uncool ...

I love that you say "I chose to heal" multiple times in this convo. That's the key. ❤

I so much appreciate Dr Igudia on RUclips for his positive contribution towards curing my HSV2. If the world has more people like you, it will be a better place. Thank you Doc

I have visual snow syndrome along with other chronic medical issues. Medical gaslighting and trauma is very real! I am going to finish listening now.

Thank you Dr Obaz for your tireless service toward the betterment of my health. I so much appreciate your dedication and commitment in your profession. Indeed you’re the best doctor ever..

Personally I feel we have become way too comfortable with thinking we can diagnose without any education at all, but i have felt this since the early 2000s. It has been going on for way too long. I wish her lots and lots of luck clearing up misconceptions. I have watched probably over one thousand educational videos on various different psychological afflictions. I had a son who sufffered horribly with severe schizophrenia for 22 years and took his own life in March of last year. Sam Vaknin has freely educated myself and so many others on this topic with his library of over 1500 videos. He is very good on citing authors and I really love that about his work. Ive watched a few you tubers who were diagnosed but none can come close to his accuracy in how he presents the material, always making point to separate his expert opinion from what is documented and peer reviewed on different topics ie: can a narcissist/sociopath heal. I myself strongly feel that they can modify their behavior, and especially so if they work very hard to understand their past traumas and go theough the painstaking process of repeatedly having to process them until they can put thrm in past once and for all. But all trauma isnt like that. I dont feel like there is a point where we put the past to sleep. I believe if we did so, we would be also, putting many of the best memories to sleep along with it, and i say that because i did uncover a repressed traumatic memory, and for 2 years after had the most wonderful memories surface. I also felt about 10000x lighter. Best of luck to her. 💛💙💛

Anti🎧Christ✡️Howard🏳️‍🌈Sterns 🩸🔱🩸Bye🌎Bye🩸👑🩸

Thank you so much Dr Igudia,for your full dedication to your work,and the knowledge you compose. I am very happy and proud that I’m cured of genital herpes virus, after a long time of suffering. Thanks Dr you did good

Thank you for this. There were things I needed to hear to help me to understand my last relationship and help me to heal